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Laura says I should update more so this post is dedicated to her. I’d say the reasons I don’t update as often are two-fold:
1. I’m a self-described binge writer. This conclusion is supported by all the half-filled notebooks in my room, and the previous blogs that I’ve abandoned (my teenage angst immortalized on the internet? I hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me haha).
2. TV has been kinda boring and predictable. Of course I’m still watching, but there’s no magic. The killer is obviously the door man from the first scene, and the crush will turn out to be an asshole so she’ll end up with the nice boy next door. So predictable, I swear there are shows that I could recite word for word before ever having watched an episode.
Either way, it’s hard not to get excited about new shows premiering mid-season. So the other night I watched the pilot episode of Showtime’s House of Lies.
A show about the cutthroat field of management consultanting (has there ever been a show about management consultants before? What’s a management consultant…?) Perhaps it’s the unpredictable “something new” that I’ve been waiting for. Reasons to watch:
- Don Cheadle’s character has a cross-dressing diva son who steals every scene he’s in. He’s like Kurt from Glee except he doesn’t give a fuck.
- Don Cheadle is a pretty good actor (according to me and also the academy)
- Ben Schwartz (aka Jean-Ralphio). I support everything he does. He reminds me of that phase in my life during which I only dated jewish guys…
Watch this show, it’s funny and the pilot is online RIGHT NOW!
(Besides what was going on in the actual film)
1. The phlegm coming up as the pirate cleared his throat repeatedly. Sounds like a legit throat infection…probably shouldn’t be in public spreading it to everyone (this is why i didn’t see it in theatres!!!)
2. Him explaining the plot to whomever he’s with. The subtitles are in spanish so it reallllly shouldn’t be difficult to follow along…COME ON!!
3. Chowing down on what could only be the crunchiest popcorn ever made (world record crunchiness). When he chews it literally sounds the same as it sounds in a cartoon (om nom nom…).
4. Digging through what may, on second thought, be a bag of rocks. It sounds like he’s mining for quartz (munch munch munchhhies)
5. Some instances of really heavy breathing…I think I hear a lady nearby (first date pirate?)
6. Ppprrrrrrrrrrrp (I kid…but it probably still stinks)
7. Shaking the bag of rock-corn…that or he also smuggled maracas into the theatre on the DL
8. Little gigglezz
Soooo ya! Moneyball. Good movie. I like movies about sports. I get emotional at the triumphant parts.
I’m moving to Newcastle, UK (aka the Geordie Shore) in 2 months. In order to prepare myself I had a bit of a Geordie Shore Marathon! Yes I know it aired all summer, but I had no desire to watch it until now. My thoughts below:
1. I’m scared!! These people are insane…which is what makes them entertaining…
2.Their resemblance to the cast of Jersey Shore is uncanny. Same big hair, same “gorilla juiceheads”, and same carrot-shade tans.
3. They behave identicallyl! My gosh the egos on these lads and lasses. There’s all the Sammi and Rahn relationship drama, club ho’s who are DTF, and nasty roommate quarrels.
4. If you’re like me and are seriously hating the current season of the Real World (San Diego oooomg so boring and the housemates are just terrible), substitute it for Geordie Shore and be entertained!
Impressions of Newcastle gleaned from watching this show:
- It’s a nice city, but you won’t see a convincing hair weave
- Their accents and slang are terrible (…why do they refer to themselves as a plural?)
- people-watching is going to take over my life
Can’t wait to move
In case you were wondering, I am no longer watching American horror story. I tried to watch the second episode but only got 15 minutes into it before I had to…go do some important errands that prevented me from watching this show ever again (if I’m honest. I really wanted to turn it off after 2 minutes). I cant do it. Sorry horror genre, you and I aren’t friends. If I see you around town im going to avoid eye contact and cross to the other side of the street. It will be less awkward that way.
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